Cats loved to be stroked, dogs love to be patted, children to he cuddled ? the sense of touch is important to all of us, but is not always fulfilled. Massage is one way in which the touch sensation can be enjoyed by another person, in a safe, unerotic way.

We are all sensual beings, in the same sense that a cat is sensual, and our bodies respond to and appreciate a massage. Whilst having a back massage, the recipient is being encouraged to let go of muscle tension, and thereby let go of stresses which may have built up in the muscles and tissues. Unless these tensions are released from muscles, the result is often pain, and then the remedy for controlling pain is often analgesic drugs such as paracetamol. It is unfortunate that the word massage has, over the years, become synonymous with prostitution and sleazy 'massage parlours'. However, a return to basic health matters, and a need to cope with the pressures of life today, has caused an upsurge in interest in massage as a therapy. The result is that now, for the first time this century, massage is becoming socially accepted as a legitimate
'hands on' therapy, alongside chiropractic and osteopathy. A massage with essential oils can be obtained from an aromatherapist, and even if you wish to massage your family and friends yourself, it is a good idea to experience a massage at the hands of a trained aromatherapist. In this way, you will feel how firmly to apply pressure, and how important warmth is to the recipient's overall enjoyment. The art of massage is essentially that of giving oneself to another person, and it is necessary to be healthy and full of energy before giving a massage. Sometimes one of my children might ask me for a massage,? but if I am totally shattered from a hectic day, then I will postpone the massage until the following day.

The giving of a massage to someone you care for; whether partner, friend or child, is a beautiful experience, both for the giver and the receiver. It helps to have had a training in massage techniques, but this is not absolutely vital, as long as some basic rules are adhered to.

The recipient of the massage should be lying comfortably, and you should be positioned to the right or the left of the recipient, so that you are comfortable and can use your body weight to apply enough pressure without putting undue strain on your arms and back. The massage itself can take place just about anywhere that is comfortable, and ideally on a massage couch, but if this is not available, the next best place would be on a bed or on the floor; provided, of course, that you are not averse to kneeling for 30 minutes or so. I always use the floor on which to massage my children, having first made a makeshift massage pad with a padded beach mat covered by a large bath towel. A folded blanket would do just as well, making sure that it is the correct width and length for your 'patient' Place a small pillow under the head and a regular sized pillow under the stomach of the recipient. A very plump person would probably not require the tummy pillow. Make sure that you have everything to hand that you will require: massage oil, tissues, and towels to keep the recipient warm, as you do not want to have to interrupt the massage to go away and fetch something.

There is a saying 'cold hands, warm heart', but when giving someone a massage, I can assure you that he or she will be more concerned about the temperature of your hands than of your heart. Cold hands will merely be interpreted as lack of consideration. So if you have cool hands prior to giving a massage, first immerse them in warm water for five minutes or so before beginning the massage. Rubbing your hands together will not make them feel warm to a hot back, although the friction brings some warmth to the palms of the hands. Never pour massage oil straight from the bottle on to someone's back, as it will shock the system. It is best to pour some oil into the palm of the hand, and then rub your hands together to disperse the oil evenly. Then place you hands on the back of your 'patient' and distribute the oil evenly. With palms flat and fingers painting towards the head of your 'patient' place your hands on their back at hip level, and slide them smoothly but firmly up the spine until your fingers reach the nape of the neck. Draw your hands away from each other sideways across the shoulders, and glide your hands down towards the place from which you started. This movement, known as effleurage, should be carried out as one continuous movement, for at least 10 minutes. Next you should apply firm pressure with your thumbs and slowly work your way up the back to the shoulders, positioning your thumbs on either side of the spine, using the pads of the thumb and not the nail. Any sore spots located may be worked on for a few more minutes by rubbing the pad of the thumb in a circular motion across the sore area (never use the tips of the thumbs. otherwise your nails may cause discomfort to the 'patient'). Complete the massage with another 5?10 minutes of effleurage to soothe and relax. Cover the back with some kitchen toweling and press lightly to remove excess oil, and finally cover the back with a large bath towel and leave your 'patient' to remain prone for at least five minutes before getting up. Some people become so relaxed that they fall asleep.

Note: Do not massage anyone who has cancer, without first speaking with his or her doctor. Never massage someone who has an acute infection; a fever; a serious heart complaint; or has just eaten a big meal. Do not massage over varicose veins, and when massaging the legs, always work upwards towards the heart.

Pregnant women will benefit from a back massage, but as they will not be able to lie face down, will need to be positioned on their side, and supported by small pillows wherever necessary.

If massaging your lover, it is inadvisable to massage the genitals even with very diluted essential oils, unless you are absolutely sure that the oils used are safe to be used in delicate areas.